Dragon Review - St. George's Dragon
Well. Hey all. Time to review another dragon.
I guess.
I've got to say it: I'm disappointed. You hear about something for long enough and you eventually just kinda ASSUME that it's worthwhile. Otherwise, why would you be hearing about it? Right? Whatever. They say a burden is doubled when borne alone. So let's lighten my load, dear reader, and review St. George's dragon together.
Things are promising at first. Oh yes! We find our dragon at a place called Silene in Libya. It's taken a page from Hydra's book, living in a pond and poisoning the countryside. An old but respectable skill set! The local villagers try to placate it with two sheep a day. Magnanimously, the dragon accepts. This works for a bit, but only a bit. The dragon doesn't stay content. So the locals start offering it a man and a sheep a day. Hardcore. The dragon devours this tribute readily. Until, that is, this offering doesn't do it anymore - a true glutton is never content, after all. So now the locals have to ante up with their children and youth, chosen via lottery. Not great for these people. Pretty great for the dragon!
Finally the daughter of a local king ends up drawing the short straw, because local power structures tend to go haywire when you've got a dragon around. He tries to buy everyone off, but since they've lost their kids, menfolk, and all their sheep, the survivors aren't keen to let him off the hook. The princess gets dressed up as a "bride" and sent down to the pond to pursue a short and exciting career in the culinary arts. Everything is coming up aces for our nameless dragon!
Then it happens. Bam. The princess is just standing around when who should show up, but Greco-Roman soldier Saint George. The princess tries to send him away... but yeah. Like that's going to happen. Anyway. Our dragon picks the moment they're chatting to make its appearance, rising out of the pond. This doesn't go as planned. Saint George makes the sign of the cross and runs the dragon down with his lance on horseback, grievously wounding it. With the lance, rather than the gesture, I'd assume.
Bad enough, right? But now things get worse. The princess loans George her belt, which they tie onto the dragon like a leash. George then hauls our dragon meekly along until they reach Silene. He says he'll kill it if everyone converts to Christianity, they agree, and he lops the dragon's head off with a sword. They build a church where it died. The end.
This dragon started out strong. Gluttony! Poisonous! Princess-eating! Then it just gets run down, stabbed, and decapitated by the first punk with a sword to come along. Weak. At least Yamata no Orochi pretty had to be drugged and snuck up on. Hydra had to be fought to a standstill. St. George's dragon gets a D. And only because I'm feeling pity here.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading.
